The Grouchy Gastronome » meal

America, Fuck Yeah!

The Grouchy Gastronome — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:50:46 +0000

Sometimes I wonder why I ever left America (you know, aside from the fact that I was essentially being kicked out of the country because school was over and I didn’t have a job). I was in Indianapolis last week for work and ordered some food up to my hotel room. This is what I got:

You can’t tell from the picture, but that calzone was all fucking cheese. I can’t eat cheese, but when I ordered this I figured I would just take the cheese off. When I was done eating, I had created a giant cheese mass roughly the size of tennis ball. Next, we have the “salad.” Iceberg lettuce has approximately no nutritional value whatsoever, I don’t like onion or peppers or olives…but the tomato was nice. And finally, the piece de resistance my Pepsi. I ordered a large (because I was thirsty) forgetting that large means “almost the size of a 2 litre” and I barely drank a third of the thing. Total cost of this meal: $11. Price I would have probably paid in Vancouver: $20. America, Fuck Yeah!

Eggs Benny

The Grouchy Gastronome — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 14:29:46 +0000

In honor of Easter, I present (via thisiswhyyou’refat) Cadbury Creme Eggs Benedict:

Sliced doughnuts topped with brownie mix, melted Cadbury Creme Eggs and frosting, garnished with red sprinkles and served with fried pound cake chunks. Overall, this would have been a perfectly healthy meal except for the cake chunks, that’s going a little overboard don’t you think?

Re-Blog Extravaganza!

The Grouchy Gastronome — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 17:24:43 +0000

The Grouchy Gastronome has been a part of the internet for over a year now and don’t you, dear reader, yearn for the days when I was writing on blogspot? No. Well too fucking bad; because you know what I want for xmas? To not be getting a freaking ulcer from worrying that I haven’t updated the blog in a few days. I’ve got a lot to do right now so this post marks the official start of the Re-Blog Extravaganza! I’ll probably be throwing in some additional content to old blogspot posts, but other days I just might be lazy and not bother. I might even include NEW posts along the way too! Don’t like this? Write an angry comment for me, I love those. Since yesterday was my company’s Xmas party, it seems appropriate that we begin our blast to the past with my review of last year’s party:

On Friday my company had its annual xmas party at a local restaurant called Mr. Sport. This was a lunch party, but some of my fellow workers were still getting good and liquored up. Here’s my issue though, I worked in the kitchen of a golf course for many summers while in school and we used to have to coordinate functions for 50 people or more. We managed to get everyone’s food out in a reasonable amount of time. Mr. Sport? They couldn’t even get out the SALAD at the same time. First they brought out the Greek, then the Caesar, then the tossed salads. But we ordered lunch about 3 days ahead of time. How goddam hard is it to make three different batches of salad and bring them all out together? Also, they seriously brought out the bread at the END of the meal. I was finished my souvlaki, and then the pita bread came out. Anyway, it was great to see my bosses all getting drunk and the best part was that at the end of the party a bunch of people stayed behind and got even MORE drunk! My company totally rocks.

Corny

The Grouchy Gastronome — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:29:36 +0000

I still need to upload some pictures from Virginia Beach. However, there is one picture I didn’t snap that I really regret. During the trip my work comrades and I went to the “Lucky” Oyster Restaurant. This is where I tried my first raw oyster, something I tweeted about already. Besides eating one of the most unholy foods in existence, I also noticed that one man’s meal came with deep fried corn on the cob. Corn is one of the few relatively healthy foods included in traditional southern cooking, so I guess it was only natural that someone decided to start deep frying it. But, holy shit, seriously? I was pretty disgusted by this and I’ve eaten a fucking deep fried Mars bar! Anyway, I really wanted to get a picture of the corn, but the man in question who ordered it is the new CEO of my company and, well, you don’t ask a guy like that to take a picture of his food because you have a stupid blog. Anyway, I know this must be a pretty obscure food since I could only find a few pictures on google images:

Thanks Rabideaux’s Quik Mart!

Lessons Learned in “Fabulous” Virginia Beach

The Grouchy Gastronome — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:18:30 +0000

Bringing your camera is a great way to take pictures for your blog. Remembering the fucking cord that allows you to download those pictures is, unfortunately, also necessary.

An appetizer portion of calamari is probably big enough to feed six people before a meal.

The “sound of freedom” (ie – fighter jets for the 12 different air force/naval bases nearby that fly around at all hours of the day) really enhances digestion at every meal.

All food must include at least a 10% cheese to other food ratio in order to be legally served at any dinning establishment.

The continental breakfast at the Hampton Inn is surprisingly not terrible.

Oysters are fucking disgusting and no one should eat them. Ever.

Frog Stoned

The Grouchy Gastronome — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:46:31 +0000

One of my favourite restaurants recently closed its doors forever. The restaurant was called The Frogstone Grill and interestingly enough, That Guy I Know also liked it; making this one of the few locations where we could both go and not constantly argue with each other. The Frogstone, as the name implies, had a pretty solid frog theme going for it. This included various frog related paraphernalia all over the restaurant, frog noises in the bathroom, and delicious frog gummy candy that would come with the bill. Also, whenever you ordered anything with guacamole in it, they would make it right at your table! I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I LOVE avocado and I am also easily amused by things like having guacamole prepared right in front of me. But the real question is, why did the restaurant close? The place was always busy. I’m left to conclude the the owners were stealing money in some sort of world domination scheme that never came to pass. There is hope though, since there is another Frogstone location. Sadly, it is in a part of town Guy and I don’t normally venture to since it is full of toothless hicks. But the prospect of having a meal without making any threatening motions with my knife would be a nice change of pace…even if it is contributing to the overthrow of society.

Old Boys Club

The Grouchy Gastronome — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 01:47:44 +0000

In my opinion, cereal is the perfect food. You can eat it as any meal of the day, it takes two minutes to prepare and it somehow manages to combine cinnamon, toast and milk into one dynamic package. But I’d like to take a moment to look at cereal from a philosophical perspective if I could. Why is it that no cereal mascots are female? I could understand if MOST of the mascots were male, but I can’t think of a single female cereal character in existence. Trix the rabbit is kind of effeminate and gay, but the voice is clearly intended to be male, so that doesn’t count. Oh, and don’t even bother to suggest that Fruity Pebbles cereal somehow has a female attached to it. Yes, it may be named after the baby girl Flintstone character, but it’s the two MALE characters that are actually on the cover of the box and in all those stupid fucking commercials. What is the reasoning behind this? I mean, girls and woman EAT cereal and many enjoy the super sugary kind. Is it so much to ask that maybe one cereal have a female character attached to it? Obviously many of these characters stem from a “simpler” time when men made all the important cereal related decisions. And therein lies the problem, since most new cereals that come out are usually tied in to a TV show or movie they won’t last on the shelves more than a year. Meanwhile, the old cereal boys club continues to hold the public’s attention and little girls everywhere are taught that they can do anything a boy can…except make it as a cereal mascot.