That Guy I Know’s extended family is from Saskatchewan. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Canadian history *ahem ALL my American readers* Saskatchewan was taken from the native people and much of the land was given to the lowliest of individual: Eastern Europeans. This is because living in Saskatchewan pretty much sucks from around September through May because it is ridiculously cold. Naturally people from Eastern Europe would be used to these types of dismal conditions and therefore jump at the chance to live in a place that makes Ohio look mountainous.
I felt the need to explain all this because on Saturday Guy’s family celebrated Ukrainian Xmas (they do this every year) as a testament to their days living the harsh realities of prairie (and by extension Ukrainian) life. Most of the menu consisted of traditional Ukrainian food including: perogies, kielbasa (or as they pronounce it kubasa, basically its dead animal in sausage form), cabbage rolls (both sweet and sour) corn meal (which is really gross) and this cold wheat “soup” (which is also really gross). Also on the menu were some non-Ukrainian foods including barbecued chicken and a salad. Do you notice anything about the meal? Yeah, not really heavy on any vegetables. My theory on this is two-fold. First, since it’s so fucking cold in both the Ukraine and Saskatchewan having vegetables available in the middle of winter would be basically impossible to come by. Second, these people are very macho in demeanor, as Guy says “vegetables are what food eats,” therefore having any type of vegetable on the menu is an instant sign that you are hippie beatnik with machinations of turning everyone in to free loving vegetarians. Overall, the food was actually quite tasty, albeit a little bland. When salt is the most daring spice at your disposal you know you’re eating a Ukrainian* dish.
*Please note: I’m English and traditional foods from this part of the world are just as bland, just so you know I don’t discriminate**.
** Please note: I really enjoy discriminating against pretty much everything.
Cabbage rolls have vegetables in them. Cabbage. It’s in the name! It counts. And there’s also rice, depending on the recipe, which is a grain and therefore counts as half a vegetable. And it’s cooked in a tomato sauce. Pierogis are cheese and potato in a pasta shell. Potatoes are vegetables!
My point is, I like pierogis and cabbage rolls. And keilbasa, but only when it’s pronounced “KEEL-ba-sa” or “KEEL-ba-see”, which is how God intended.
Ok, first of all there is no “half a vegetable” it’s like being a cannibal, either you’re in or you’re out. Second, as far as I’m concerned potato doesn’t even count as a vegetable, I am officially kicking it out of the club. Finally, yes cabbage is a vegetable but it has essentially zero nutritional value, especially compared to its goody-goody cousin, spinach.
just becasue there is rice doesnt mean it is healthy depends which rice was used. perogies only have cheese in them when you buy them frozen from a store thus your palate is horrible.