The Grouchy Gastronome

In my opinion, cereal is the perfect food. You can eat it as any meal of the day, it takes two minutes to prepare and it somehow manages to combine cinnamon, toast and milk into one dynamic package. But I’d like to take a moment to look at cereal from a philosophical perspective if I could. Why is it that no cereal mascots are female? I could understand if MOST of the mascots were male, but I can’t think of a single female cereal character in existence. Trix the rabbit is kind of effeminate and gay, but the voice is clearly intended to be male, so that doesn’t count. Oh, and don’t even bother to suggest that Fruity Pebbles cereal somehow has a female attached to it. Yes, it may be named after the baby girl Flintstone character, but it’s the two MALE characters that are actually on the cover of the box and in all those stupid fucking commercials. What is the reasoning behind this? I mean, girls and woman EAT cereal and many enjoy the super sugary kind. Is it so much to ask that maybe one cereal have a female character attached to it? Obviously many of these characters stem from a “simpler” time when men made all the important cereal related decisions. And therein lies the problem, since most new cereals that come out are usually tied in to a TV show or movie they won’t last on the shelves more than a year. Meanwhile, the old cereal boys club continues to hold the public’s attention and little girls everywhere are taught that they can do anything a boy can…except make it as a cereal mascot.