The Grouchy Gastronome

I love breakfast foods and when I went to Saskatchewan this weekend I had two very different breakfast experiences. Now, I’m a really nice person so I always go into a restaurant with an open mind, which is why each establishment started out with 100 points. To keep that perfect score they had to maintain my high expectations; anything that went wrong resulted in points being deducted. Let’s see how they did!

Restaurant One: Grainfields

I would say Grainfields is a more upscale version of Denny’s; for my American readers it is very close to The Cracker Barrel. Anyway this place specializes in breakfast foods, but also offers other menu items as well.

Enter restaurant, quickly seated in a booth (I love getting a booth). 110 points

Tea arrives, but it’s in a container that I can only describe as a vase. What the fuck? This is not for fucking flowers it’s for pouring hot liquid. I immediately get half of my water all over the bloody place. 90 points

Food arrives quickly and I have pretty much got the hang of this ridiculous tea kettle/vase. 100 points

Omelette, hash browns and toast are all quite tasty; WAY too many onions in the Denver omelette, which is a big no-no. 95 points

Get our bill before we are done eating. I don’t like that, what if I want to order a piece of pie? I didn’t, but I wasn’t even finished my meal yet. I don’t want to see the bill until I am clearly finished eating. 85 points

The bill comes out to about $40 for three people, which is pretty reasonable. 90 points (final score)

Restaurant Two: Station Place

When I told That Guy I Know’s dad that we were going to Station Place he did not seem happy about the situation, which made me worry. The restaurant is made up of converted train cars and serves a brunch buffet but I’m counting this as breakfast since it was my first meal that day.

Arrive at restaurant to find a booth with another table attached to it. People must shuffle all over the fucking place just so someone can get up. This wouldn’t be a problem in a regular restaurant situation but since this is a buffet it causes everyone to have to get up about a dozen times each which is really fucking annoying. 90 points

Our server brings me lukewarm water and doesn’t offer to refill quite a few coffees. 85 points

Grab a bunch of food from the buffet. Eggs are cold, meat is adequate, Eggs Benedict is really good, I would say this all evens out. 85 points

The second time I went to the buffet it was for some fruit. This is when I stepped on a giant strawberry and it smooshed so much that it went all over the TOP of my shoe. I couldn’t walk with strawberry all over the place because it would make a mess and it possessed a serious risk of my falling on my ass. I asked the dude cutting meat at the buffet to grab me some napkins but he just stood there and said “Uh, I have a rag.” I probably should have wiped my shoe all over his fucking shirt to show him what I thought of his customer service skills but instead I carried my shoe outside and wiped it off out there. 70 points

The bill comes, it is $15 a person (not including drinks, tax, tip), which seems high to me considering the shoddy staff workers. 60 points (final score)

Well, as you can see Grainfields is the clear winner in the Saskatchewan breakfast challenge. The next time I go to Saskatchewan I will sample two other breakfast places and see how they do…so you can look forward to that post in 2014.